Famous Wedding Toasts...

I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.
Henny Youngman

A man's wife has more power over him than the state has.

Ralph Emerson

The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.

Honore de Balzac

The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it.

Ann Bancroft

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewellery.

Rita Rudner

Keep your eyes wide open before the wedding, half shut afterwards.

Franklin Benjamin

A husband is like a fire, he goes out when unattended.

Evan Esar

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Berle Milton

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

George Burns